Or, realize we get old. Whatever you want to call it. Basically i stayed home because my joints are really doing crazy things that i dont understand.

Here are my 10 realizations (remainders to self) of the week:

1. McDonalds makes you dumb and fat.

2. Scotch is delicious.

3. When you do a Google Image Search for “scotch”, the first photo you get is of some dude ripping his anus open. It’s really not pleasant. Also, you get this photo:

4. Henry Rollins is possibly more endearing than one would think.

5. Watching The Night of the Hunter with a crowd (I’m talking about YOU, Williamsburg) that thinks cynicism is TOPS, is not the best place to watch this masterpiece. Give me a fucking break. You’ve got beautiful stylistic lighting and Robert Mitchum being a scary scary preacher-man. How could you ask for more? Stop laughing at everything that has changed since 1955!!!!!!!

6. I’m going to really really focus on getting a photography portfolio together….starting now.

Too bad I left my $8 lighting set-up on an MTA Bus.

7. I get really freaked out about global warming. Basically, i’m accepting that the world will probably end very very soon and i’m glad that i haven’t birthed any children….because, i’d feel bad for them.

8. Stephen Colbert’s schtick has gotten old.

9. Blah Blah Blah

10. I need a patron. (a patron of the arts)

Also, i need sleep.

But, honestly, i read this and had to share how fucking stupid and hateful and ridiculous it was:

Bush wants us to cut the amount of gas we use. The best way to stop using so much gas is to deport 11 million illegal immigrants! That would be 11 million less people using our gas. The price of gas would come down. Bring our troops home from Iraq to guard the border. When they catch an illegal immigrant crossing the border, hand him a canteen, rifle and some ammo and ship him to Iraq . Tell him if he wants to come to America then he must serve a tour in the military. Give him a soldier’s pay while he’s there and tax him on it. After his tour, he will be allowed to become a citizen since he defended this country. He will also be
registered to be taxed and be a legal patriot. This option will probably deter llegal immigration and provide a solution for the troops in Iraq and the aliens trying to make a better life for themselves. If they refuse to serve, ship them to Iraq anyway, without the canteen, rifle or ammo. Problem solved.

that’s from a woman named Tara in Utah. Because clearly, she has foreign policy figured out.

- Women in New York are snakes

- Women in California and Phoenix, Arizona are blonde and nice

- This is the quickest route to the airport

- Miami is the best part of Florida

- When people go to the beach in the summer, they drive their cars to get there. They are assholes

- No, really. This is the quickest route to the airport.

- You don’t believe me that New York women are snakes? How outrageous.